Sunday, June 6, 2010

An Unanswerable Question about Waiting Till Marriage

Is sex better if you wait 'till you're married?

My intuition says "no, at least not necessarily." And I've heard assertions of 'yes' and of 'no'--a little of both have come from Christians. But nobody really has the ability to say yes or no, because nobody is really capable of losing their virginity twice. Nobody has the capability of trying married sex both (a) having had sex before, and (b) not having had sex before. It's actually logically impossible to pull off.

A close second, hypothetically, would be this:
(1) Get some consenting volunteers to run an experiment.
(2) Have a way of inducing amnesia which is guaranteed to extend to past sexual experiences.
(3) Have lost whatever part of your conscience it is that would have prevented you from carrying out this experiment.

Now in seriousness, this question is, of course, largely irrelevant for Christians who take it seriously to be a command to wait--who cares if it's better or even worse in terms of pleasure, if it is commanded? But I still found it kind of a funny little thing that despite the bold assertions of yes and no, it is practically impossible to get a reliable answer.


Andy said...

Although I think it is easy to argue that it is better to wait, it doesn't matter. The more important question is, who is your Lord?. If Jesus is your Lord, then you will trust and obey his commands. (John 15:14, Matt. 7:21-27, Rom 6:16-18, Eph 5:3-6, etc...)

For those looking for an intellectual argument, I wager that it is better to do it the way it was intended than do what we want in the futility of our minds. Especially in this case: Since there is uncertainty between the superiority of waiting or not, why risk losing the better outcome when odds are that it's better to wait until marriage to engage in any kind of sexual activity. You risk missing out on the intended blessing, you will give an account for your actions, and reap present and future consequences of that sin.

Sorry Dan, but in my opinion, this question is not worth asking. :) If you want to know the answer, search the scriptures with an open mind and a desire to hear and obey.

Dan Lower / KKairos said...

I actually agree. That's what I meant when I said the question was largely irrelevant for Christians who take the commandment seriously. That's not precisely the way I said it, but you have my agreement in that persons who are honestly seeking to do the Christian thing, and honestly seeking the Truth, will come to the conclusion that they should wait. I was mostly just asking the question out of a silly intellectual curiosity.

A. Scott / Xeirxes said...

The only way I can see this actually happening is if someone accidentally had quantum sex, in which they were both having sex and not having sex at the same time. And then, their consummation for marriage would reveal the truth. Of course, most of the populace would inexorably become fascinated with the quantum sex part and entirely ignore the results of the experiment.

M.A. Schmitz said...

Of course, it depends on what you mean by 'better', whether one is referring only to pleasure, or actually looking at the (much) deeper reality. While there is the silliness of the logical impossibility of answering the question of pure pleasure- looking at it deeper (and really, the actual meaning of the comparative of 'good') does not result in a logical impossibility. Because as far as sound psychology (informed by faith, and seeking understanding of faith) goes, the answer is undeniably clear. And indeed this would be the case, since morality isn't based on merely arbitrary divine command.

Kev Johnston said...

Quantum Sex! Brilliant!

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