I had been struggling for months for the elusive goal of becoming close to God. Trying everything that I had, I had eventually almost given up the fight entirely. In fact, the fight was being lost quickly. One night I prayed to God that He would not only help me, but help me to want Him--because I realized that I had not even desired His company or His wisdom for a very, very long time.
This prayer is what brought things around. God changed my heart, He changed my wants and interests around. Then I thought for while about this. Why couldn't I have changed my own desires?
My conclusions:
I do not have free will: will to change what I desire.
I do what I desire.
God is merciful, God has power over all things--God is the only one who can change an unwilling, icy heart into a beating one all over again.
1 comment:
I'm going to have to get back to you on the details, but it seems there was at least the choice (not the initiation!) on your part of praying to God for said help. I say the thing about details because of course if we allow for free will we have to make sure we don't go Pelagian.
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